New Teeth
by Michelle Birkby
Summary: For a new Doctor, many things have changed, but one thing remains the same yes, DrRose shippy


New Teeth

Ahh...that's better…the pain's stopped. The warmth has soothed it away, and the tightness in my skin has loosened. Now...what was I saying? Keep talking...reassure her it's okay….her...who? I can't quite remember…I remember thinking she'd be worried, maybe scared, though my brave….my…I can't remember who she is. But it'll come back. There's always this moment of fuzziness, as I slip from one man to another.

Maybe I should introduce myself.

"Hello. I…" I trip over the words, still clumsy in my form. "New teeth. That's weird'. New teeth, new eyes, new face, new body, new way of walking, new way of thinking, new way of breathing, talking, fighting, living. But not a new way of caring.

I remember that.

I remember feeling affection...no...more….love? Something like love for the girl in front of me, the girl alternately flinching away and inching towards me, not sure who I am. But I care for her. That much stays the same.

"Oh, that's right." I remember. I remember the lie I fed her to make her laugh before I died, to lessen her fear, dissipate her sorrow. "Barcelona.".

I walk over to the console, and trip over my own legs. Funny…I could have sworn my legs were longer. Well, maybe they were. The girl…she is a girl, only finished with childhood a few years ago, not much older then Ace was when I left her…she grabs me as I fall, and pulls me upright again.

"Sorry. Not quite used to this body yet. Or this voice…it doesn't feel right."

"You used to have a northern accent" she says, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans in a way that's achingly familiar.

"Did I? How odd."

Looking at her now, so close, I remember...I remember kissing her.

A slow sweet kiss, done to save her life….the perfect excuse to lean in and kiss her softly, something I had been longing for. I remember the warmth of her lips, the glow in her eyes that wasn't entirely the Time Vortex. I remember the shiver down my spine, the physical need to wrap my arms round her and pull her closer. It had been so long since I'd felt like that. Once, when I was young, I had handed out kisses like confetti, not caring what damage they did. But as I got older, I realised what kisses meant, and I stopped…stopped hugging and kissing and needing.

But I had needed Tegan, and never told her, and lost her.

I had hugged Peri, held her, but never kissed her, and lost her.

I never wanted to lose Rose.

I had wanted to kiss her for months, but held back. I didn't want to love her, I knew that, and kissing her would be finally admitting, finally _knowing_ that I loved. I wasn't supposed to love, not outside of my own race. How can you love someone, knowing they will age and wither and die, as you stay young and live? I'd tried to tell Susan that once….

I kissed her. I loved her. I love her.

Rose.

I remember now. Rose. I always loved roses. Such vibrant, colourful flowers, with such soft petals….and underneath, the sharpest thorns to stab the unwary. And I had been unwary.

She had loved me, I felt in the kiss. But would she love me now, now I was a new man?

"Doctor?" she asks, uncertain, backing away.

"Sorry...was I staring?" I tell her, shaking my head, as if to clear it. "It's just that I remember you. I don't always, you see. I have terrible problems with regeneration. One time I ended up almost completely insane…and the worst outfit you ever saw. And another time I ended up with an almost total loss of memory. And then there was the time I woke up in a morgue. Not a pleasant experience, I can assure you." I'm staring at the Tardis controls. I know I know what does what. It's imprinted on my genetic make-up. It's just taking a little time to flood back. My mind is filled with Rose…holding her, touching her, saving her, coming for her...Rose saving me, Rose teaching me...loving Rose.

"Regeneration? Is that what just happened?"

She's still backing away, moving to the other side of the console, watching me warily. She doesn't trust me. It took me weeks to earn her trust, and now I've lost it again in a moment.

"It's what happens to Time Lords. When they're hurt, and they're about to die, we regenerate, into a new body."

"So you're still the same you?"

"Well...the personality is slightly different." and I want to continue on and say 'but I still love you' but how can I? She doesn't know me. I'm a stranger, and if know my Rose, if a stranger says he loves her, she's likely to kick him in the genitals and run away. And she can kick hard.

"Prove it."

How can I prove it? I can't even remember most of my life…just names... Ian, Jamie, Tegan, Peri...and faces, all flooding back to me, nine lifetimes worth of memories hitting me all at once. I can barely walk, I keep tripping over my own trousers, I swear this voice isn't right, and I don't even know what I look like.

"Have you got a mirror?". I can't quite say mirror right, my tongue is still getting entangled in my teeth. And my jacket doesn't fit right. I take it off and throw it the floor, and see Rose glance at it out the corner of her eye.

She turns to a cupboard behind her, and takes a small mirror out, looking at me suspiciously. I can see why. Surely if I was the Doctor, I should know what was in the Tardis's cupboards? But on the other hand, I never really know what's in the Tardis's cupboards. What's in there is whatever the Tardis chooses to put in there.

Well, not a bad face as faces go. Sort of quirky. Younger than the last. And thank Rassilon those ears are back where they're supposed to be. Intense dark eyes. And that grin…waaay too many teeth. And it's not the handsomest I've been. My eighth regeneration…now then I looked good. But, this'll do for now.

Except the clothes, of course.

"I have to get changed." I announce, striding out of the control room. Well, trying to stride. I keep tripping over my shoes, until I take them off and fling away down some corridor. First thing I get are trainers, like Rose's.

"Prove it." she says again, once we're in the wardrobe room. I pick up a long scarf, then throw it back again. Cursed thing was always getting in the way. Still, there might be something in the pockets of the maroon coat.

"Prove I'm the Doctor. How?" That cricketing coat showed every stain.

"Tell me something only the Doctor would know."

"But I know lots of things you don't know. I could tell you anything and you wouldn't know if it were true or not. Jelly baby?" I say, holding out the bag to her. Funny how these things last.

"Something about me then. That only the Doctor would know.". I am never wearing that chequered coat again. If anything was a sign of how unstable I was during that regeneration, that was it. I should burn it.

"Umm..okay...something only I would know. okay, you have a boyfriend named Micky, you went out for a while with Adam, and I can't think why I even let him aboard this ship, but whatever Jack may have said to you, you and he never…"

"Alright!" I don't think that was what she wanted to hear. Ahh…this'll do. A nice brown suit. I pull it on, as Rose chastely turns her back.

"Sorry."

"I meant something personal. Between the Doctor and me." she said. A camel coat. Wonderful.

"How do I look?"

She turns round, and giggles, and I realise what I knew before…the sound of Rose laughing is the sweetest sound in the universe, sweeter that Venusians lullabies, then the singing cliffs of Najima, then the wind in the trees of Episilon 5.

"Like a gangster!' she laughs, and I suddenly find myself serious.

"Your father died." I say softly. "You tried to stop it, and damaged the fabric of space and time, but it was my fault, because I should have known that you couldn't stand back and watch anyone die. I tried to kill the last Dalek on earth, but it took some of your DNA, and changed, and died, and you stopped me becoming a murderer. I nearly killed you when I blew up 10 Downing Street. We danced together once, as the bombs fell in London."

"Doctor…" she murmurs, but now I've started I can't stop, and I have a feeling this new regeneration will talk far, far too much.

"You are the sweetest, and best thing to have happened to me in a very long time. I used to burn with jealousy when I saw you with Micky or Adam. I decided long ago that I would die if you died, not just regenerate, but slip out of existence altogether . I am the Doctor, and I love you, Rose Tyler."

There's only a silence in the room, and she will not meet my eyes.

"I thought you loved me too. You did." Of that I am sure. She looks at me, her eyes full of tears.

"I did. I loved him. but he's dead, and you're here, and I don't know you. And yes, I can see you're the Doctor, but you're not my Doctor. You're not the man I loved. He's dead, and you're a stranger who's taken his place. Sorry."

She leaves, running, crying, but I can't follow her. It's not me she wants. It's the tall, gangly, older man, with the leather jacket, and the open face and the grin. Not me.

The ninth Doctor...the man Rose loves, is dead and gone.

But I still love her. And I…I am the tenth Doctor.


End file.
